Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away, lived a young princess named Nerdina. On the morning of her 18th birthday, Nerdina woke to the sun peeking thru her east window, just as always. She smiled her first sleepy smile of the day, her godmother’s quilt cozy around her messy head, only a few short brown and pink strands poking out over her forehead. It was the sort of smile you have in the morning before you have time to remember all depressing crap from the day before.
She stretched out from under her covers and swung her wiggling toes over the edge of the bed, and yawned enormously – geez, why was she so flippin’ tired? – when her eyes popped open at the site of a large gift wrapped in silver paper and crimson bow resting on her table under the window. Oh crap. Her heart plunged to her feet. Today was her 18th birthday. And still no curse.
Princess Nerdina had lived a fairy tale life up until then. Loving parents, catering servants, a magical godmother, birds who sang with her, woodland creatures who followed her, and mice who made her dresses. She even had a pony. She couldn’t ask for anything else, nor would she have, if it hadn’t been for the whispers around the kingdom. Was she really a princess? Did her father have an affair? Her mother? Was she adopted? Switched at birth?
One by one, starting at the age of 14, her princess friends began succumbing to one curse after another. In fact, it was two years…TWO YEARS…since Princess Peach of Marioland was carried off by that big, hairy ape, leaving Nerdina as the only princess left in her class at The Royal Academy for Princes and Princesses.
She was in the middle of her senior year and it crushed her. Princesses NEVER made it to their senior year! In fact, there were only a handful of freshmen and sophmore princesses left this semester and they avoided her. Most times, they wouldn’t even look her in the eye which was just fine by Nerdina. That was easier than pity stares. Worse though, were the behind-her-back snickers from the few who listened to the kingdom gossip.
And lately, the princes wouldn’t talk to her either. Who wanted to rescue a princess from boredom? And what if she was a commoner? Instead, they began flocking around the younger girls, hoping to show off their dragon killing skills. More like dragon FEEDING skills, thought Nerdina. She had seen them in action and placed her odds on the dragon. Still, they had been amusing and at least someone to talk to.
Nerdina threw herself backwards on her bed. Ugh! She was so tired of being Miss Bland. Oh dear lord! She shot back up. What if THAT was her curse? A clinging, white rice existence! She had never thought of that. That couldn’t be it! Could it?
“Get a grip on yourself, Nerdina!” she chastised. “You’re acting like an idiot. Of course that can’t be it. How could it? It doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. Let’s see…an evil witch poisoned Snow White…Fiona turns into a troll at nightfall…Rapunzel’s hair won’t stop growing and she’s locked in a tower… Aurora pricked her finger and fell into a deep sleep…Peach is off with that hairy ape….and Zelda is on the run, being chased across Hyrule by a crazed ginger. All normal, proper curses. Nobody has ever had a Nothing Curse.”
Nerdina threw herself backwards onto the bed again. Of course, it would be just her luck to be the first. She supposed she should open her gift. It was probably from Daddy. Or her magical godmother, The Divine Miss J.
Miss J gave awesome gifts. One year, she had given Nerdina a miniature tyrannosaurus rex (she had spared no expense) that ran around the castle terrorizing the mice and nipping at ankles. One day he got into Mum’s closet and chewed through an entire collection of Prada, and that was the end of Chuck. Miss J turned him into a toy – a rather clever toy who roared and had glowing red eyes when you pressed a button on his green scaly stomach – and gave him to commoner boy named Matt, who carried him around by day and slept with him by night.
Nerdina dredged herself up from self-pity, and picked up her gift.
Ok, so this is a stab at fiction. Normally, my fiction tends to run “dark”, (although my blog is usually humorous) so this is a bit of a switch for me to right something light. I hope you like it, and constructive criticism is welcome in the comments or on FB, etc. Just be nice. My ego is a bit nervous.
Also, I regret that I have no photos or drawings or anything to go with this. I wanted the story to carry itself but I also like to break things up with something to look at but then again I want you to imagine things in your own head without being influenced by a drawing but then….but then there was cake. So, you know…no pictures.
Tune in next week for Part 2! Or maybe in two weeks….or maybe never if everyone hates it.