Mary Did You Know?

Christmas is coming up fast, it seems. I feel like I am so far behind and totally not ready. Maybe it’s because it’s so warm yet. My brain thinks it’s still October. Anyway, I thought I would share a little exercise that I am doing with my friends from church – it is helping me practice gratitude and reminding me of the joy that came with the birth of Christ.

The holidays are busy for everyone and some of us fly south for the winter (not me, in case you were wondering – although with El Nino upon us, I’m not sure you can tell the difference between Florida and Wisconsin right now) so we are participating, via email, in prayerful reflection (lectio divine) over a single scripture.

The scripture we are reflecting on is this:  And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. Luke 2:1

Yeah, what a fun one…government and taxes.

But of course, we all know the “rest of the story..” (read in Paul Harvey’s voice for best results).  Because of this decree, Joseph and Mary have to schlep from Nazareth to Bethlehem of Judea – 80 odd miles via roadways made 2000 years ago (translation:  really crappy roads).  On foot.  For over a week.  During the rainy season.  Wearing layers of woolen cloaks.  Up and down and up and down hills.  Sleeping outside.  In the mud.  And the cold.  Carrying all of their own provisions.  With Mary 9 months pregnant (NINE MONTHS!).

Oh wait – they had a donkey.  That makes it so much better.

I just realized that Mary had the perfect labor and delivery story to use on Jesus.  “I had to walk 80 miles!  Pregnant!  In the rain!  Uphill!  And after we got there, we couldn’t find a hotel and ended up having you in a cave.  And then a bunch of smelly shepherds piled in and then those singing angels!  Oy!  The singing!  The noise!  The smell!  And the next day we had to go pay taxes.  TAXES!  You should be so lucky.  So don’t tell me you’re “too tired” to heal the sick.  I’ll give you “too tired….”

Meanwhile Jesus is rolling his eyes and picking at the food on his plate, wondering why all the OTHER kids get to go to the camel races.

I remember my ninth month with both of my pregnancies. I don’t recall it as being a “good time”. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it as a time for an 80 mile hike – with or without a donkey.  I couldn’t see my feet, which is surprising because they had grown a size and were swollen to the point that the only shoes that fit were Dave’s slippers. I had to pee every 5 minutes which meant I had to somehow negotiate the physics of sitting down and standing up without tipping over into the bathtub.

I couldn’t stand very long without my stomach muscles threatening to flee the country and when I sat down, my pelvis felt like it was burrowing it’s way to China. Laying down was marginally better, except the having to pee every 5 minutes thing and flopping around like a big ole fat fish trying to get out of the waterbed (a sight to see, mind you. And stop raising your eyebrows about the waterbed. This was the eighties. I’m old, remember?).

So the very idea of poor Mary and Joseph spending the last week of her pregnancy hiking thru the hills of Galilee and Judea gives me a new appreciation for my millennial comforts.  I think I shall go out in the garage and hug my car now, thank you very much.  And my accountant.  And my nice hospital where I gave birth to my children in my fancy birthing suite.  And that county road worker over there, laying down the new asphalt so I can drive my car on nice smooth roads.  Oh wait…he’s running away.  Why is he running?  Wow, he is fast!  Fine!  Don’t get your hug then!  Your loss, buddy!

So “it came to pass” that cars were invented and hospitals and accountants and yoga pants and cute maternity tunics and Skechers.  And women sometimes took these things for granted until they read about Mary and then became ever so grateful that God had allowed them to be born in a time that did not require 80 mile hikes and riding on donkeys and giving birth in caves in front of smelly shepherds because it was weird enough having half the nursing and intern staff staring at her nether regions.

May the peace and joy of our living Savior follow you throughout this holiday season, as we celebrate His humble birth.

Joyous-Grateful-Christmas-Tactically yours,

Sue

PS.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.  And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. – Luke 2:7-14

 

It’s All A Blur

I think I may have mentioned I am helping to lead our church retreat, and our theme is “Mindfulness”.  Our focus is learning to live in the moment – appreciating right where we are, regardless of circumstances.  For the record, I really suck at this.  But Moses sucked at talking in public, and look how that turned out, so maybe there is hope for me here.

The other night I was walking the dogs and trying to practice being present.  For every step, I repeated “You won’t ever get that step back.  Each step is now.  Now.  Now.  Now.”  Besides freaking myself out a little, the exercise helped me to be mindful of each moment of my walk.  To not whine in my head about the cold or that it was dark or that I wished I was home all cozy on the couch.  To not think ahead or think behind.  Just be in the “now”.  It was hard.

Later, I was going thru photos looking for an appropriate entry for The Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge (Blur), and I found the one below.  I took it while out walking in the woods with the dogs, and playing with my camera.  When I got home and downloaded it to my computer, I remember thinking “Well, that one’s a bust” but now I saw it with new eyes.

The barbed wire -the only part of the photo in focus –  is my present.  The barbs are the obstacles – note that only two are in focus – the one behind me that I must remember to learn from and the one in front of me that I must overcome. The blurred forest is the past and the future. I might be bothered by the past and worried about the future, but in truth I can only focus on the present or risk falling from the wire.

Great analogy, right?

Now comes the tricky part.  The part where I let the past stay in the past and let God take care of the future.  Where I trust that beneath me is a net of Faith, Hope, Love, Mercy, Forgiveness, and Redemption.  Some days, I spend a good amount of my valuable time frozen on my wire, arms outstretched, knees trembling, heart pounding.  I wonder if God just shakes his head at me then.  If He’s tempted to knock on my head with his supernatural fist, saying “Hello!  McFly!” in His still, small voice.

I’ll keep this picture with me – a reminder to be mindful.  To be present.  To live. And mostly, to trust the One who walks with me.

Philosophically yours,

Sue

Red Banks Alvar, Brown County, WI

For we live by faith, not by sight…

2 Corinthians 5-7

 

Helloooooo 2015

Shamelessly stolen from my cousin off Facebook. Thanks for the daily inspiration, Lori!

This completely sums up the extent of my resolutions for this new year.  I toyed with the idea of having actual resolutions, but they are just a repeat of what I hoped to accomplish the previous year and all the previous years before.

Even as I type this, I am envisioning myself pedaling 3000 miles on my bike, killing it in the gym, writing like a fiend, and turning back time and genetics until I’m 5’10”, blonde, built like a brick shit house and author of a best seller.  Damn!  I look goood!

The gal on the left is Zuzka – she has FANTASTIC workouts – seriously – check her out at zuzkalight.com

A girl can only take so much reality before breaking out the chocolate cake.

Speaking of, we had some tonight for Dave’s birthday.  Homemade – my mom’s recipe she used to make for us when we were kids.  Homemade frosting too.  Yeah, I rock.

It really is as good as it looks.

My point is – I tend to over blow things.  Knowing this about myself does not keep me from doing it.

So this year, my only resolution is to be grateful in all circumstances.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Even when I want to shake my fist and scream at God.  Because this is my life, and while I may not always get to choose what happens to me, I do get to choose how I will react to it.  Yeah, I know – I sound like a cliche, but I am learning that this is the only way to have peace in the midst of turmoil.  To have joy in the midst of pain.  God is good.  All the time.

So that’s really all I got today.  Plus, remembering to write “2015” really will take up most of my bandwidth for the first three months.  We’ll talk again in March.  Ha!

The cake queen,

Sue

 

The Whiniest Israelite In All The Land

That would be me.  Well, that would be me if I was Jewish.  And if I lived during the Exodus (despite what my brother may say, I’m not that old).

This realization came to me recently while I was working on a work assignment. A really sucky work assignment.   A really sucky work assignment that was really really hard (really) and I only had one week to do it. It required hours of reading, research, analyzing, and goal setting and then writing a report to go with it.

Crack open that bottle of whine.

“I can’t play Candy Crush because I have to do reeeessseeaarchhh!”  *Throws self on floor*

“On my own tiiimmme!  At hoooommme!”  *Flail arms and legs while rolling on the floor*

“I don’t get thiiiisss!”  *dramatic adolescent foot stomping*

“This is toooo haaaarrd!”  *More arm flailing and foot stomping*

“I want to eat peanuts and read comics like all the other adults!”

“I’m just gonna quit my stupid job so I don’t have to do this.  But I need a paaaay cheeeeeeck!”  *sobs uncontrollably*

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

After I finished the report, I texted a friend saying “It’s done! It’s finally done!” to which she replied, “Are you also done with your pity party?”.  Rat bastard friends.

Every morning, I try to read a chapter from the bible. You will notice I just called my friends “rat bastards” in the previous sentence, so I feel compelled to explain the bible reading for some reason. I obviously don’t fit the traditional “holy” definition, but thankfully, God has infinite patience (along with His wisdom, mercy, love and forgiveness) and hasn’t kicked me off the island yet. We talk a lot. I get a lot of eye rolls from Him, too.

So now I’m reading Exodus. The first part of Exodus is cool. It starts with the story of Moses – rescued as an infant from the waters of the Nile, growing up in the big house, being really stupid and killing an Egyptian, running away to the desert, getting married, finding a new life and then getting called back by God to rescue his people.

But once they get into the wilderness, and God starts handing down the law, things start to get dicey from a “making sense to Sue” standpoint.  Following the law is sort of like trying to read all of the “begats” (genealogies)- I’m reading the words but they don’t mean a whole lot.

Currently, I’m reading the instructions for building the mobile temple and I feel like I need a degree in rocket science to understand it.

Example:

7 “You shall also make curtains of goats’ hair, to be a tent over the tabernacle. You shall make eleven curtains. 8 The length of each curtain shall be thirty cubits, and the width of each curtain four cubits; and the eleven curtains shall all have the same measurements. 9 And you shall couple five curtains by themselves and six curtains by themselves, and you shall double over the sixth curtain at the forefront of the tent. 10 You shall make fifty loops on the edge of the curtain that is outermost in one set, and fifty loops on the edge of the curtain of the second set. 11 And you shall make fifty bronze clasps, put the clasps into the loops, and couple the tent together, that it may be one. 12 The remnant that remains of the curtains of the tent, the half curtain that remains, shall hang over the back of the tabernacle. 13 And a cubit on one side and a cubit on the other side, of what remains of the length of the curtains of the tent, shall hang over the sides of the tabernacle, on this side and on that side, to cover it. 14 “You shall also make a covering of ram skins dyed red for the tent, and a covering of badger skins above that. – Exodus 26:7-14

Greek, right? Or Hebrew? And can we just address the elephant in the room: Badger skins??  And this is just for the curtains!  Or something!  I’m not really sure!

“Figures The erection of the Tabernacle and the Sacred vessels” by illustrators of the 1728 Figures de la Bible, Gerard Hoet (1648–1733) and others, published by P. de Hondt in The Hague in 1728 – http://www.wcg.org/images/b2/_0303160501_038.jpg. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons.

The entire time I’m reading it, I realized if I was an Israelite trying to decipher this, I was going to be wandering in the desert for a really, really, really, long time, because I would so be on the “Let’s build a golden calf – it sounds so much easier” band wagon.

What I wouldn’t have realized though, is that even though the rules were hard, they had a purpose.  God was trying to build a nation and to establish a way of life for a group of people who had just been slaves for hundreds of years.  They had little knowledge of government structure or how to keep a million people from starving or killing each other or how to even order their day.  Following his instruction stretched their minds, changing how they thought.  As it was, he had to provide manna and quail, water from rocks, and constant hand holding to get them to the foot of Mount Sinai (insert golden calf here).

So I felt a little better about the whole report thing. I mean, it was just a report. I didn’t have to build a temple or a whole freaking nation. Yay me!  Yay everyone else too, because the very idea of a “Sue Nation” is really rather frightening (except for the part where everyone gets to eat cake).  And just like the Israelites, researching and writing the report changed how I thought, brought in new ideas, and made me see my job from another perspective.

I also realized what a whiner I was over such trivial things like work reports when our world is faced with terrorism, war, racism, poverty, and illness.  Seriously – I should have been jumping up and down with joy over having to write that report. My rat bastard friend was right – I was having a raging pity party. And that made me wonder – how often do I complain about piddly crap like that? How ungrateful am I? How often am I whining about the glass half empty, when I could be rejoicing over the glass half full?  Or more importantly, the “cup runnething over” (Psalm 23)?

I plan to make that a daily reminder for myself: Pop a curly straw in that baby and rejoice in the glass half full. The very same RB friend who called me out on my pity party also had this remark for me – the “I get an idea and say “Okay, let’s do it”” and then she remarked “Now I didn’t say it was always a GOOD idea…” and we laughed over it because she knows me so very well. But this time I am on the money. This is a GREAT idea. For me anyway.

Love to you all.

May you have a blessed and grateful holiday season.

Sue

PS. Happy Thanksgiving!

PPS. Pie

PPSS. Mmmmmmm….pie.

Just for today…tomorrow it’s back to cake!!

Soft Pastels – Norwegian Style

The Boynton Chapel, Bjorklunden, Baileys Harbor, WI.

 

 A fissured rock

the perfect tree

she built a home

to honor Thee

 

You spoke to her

You speak to me

in drenching wind

and unsalted sea

 

The feathered pine

and wizened tree

the slumbering ore

call out to me

 

In land of rock

and birch and sea

she built a church

to honor Thee

 

Interior of Boynton Chapel. All paintings and carvings done by Winifred and Donald Boynton.

Front of the chapel. Even the pulpit was hand carved.

A Norwegian stavkirke – a stave church.

 

For more entries in Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Soft Pastels, click here.

 

Sue the Explorer With Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Wood and Spring

I’m taking a break from my usual fare this week, because I recently started following a blog called Cee’s Photography, and she runs photo challenges every week.  She has beautiful photos and they make me smile, so I thought I would share with you because you can never have too many smiles in a day.

I decided to participate in her Elements/Seasons series – as you all know I am a nature freak.  So, without further ado, here is my entry for Wood/Spring.

First up – photos from one of my most favorite places in all the land!  Bjorklunden (Lawrence University) in Door County.  Love, love, love that place, and for a while went every year with my sister for a ladies weekend.  I missed the last two years, a knife in my spiritual heart – I have been able to reach out to God so easily in this place.

Spring dew on lakeside branches.

God calling in the mist.

This next picture was taken down by the Fox River, close to the locks.  I was actually trying to get shots of the pelicans, and happened across this bright bit of life starting it’s journey.

Life finds a way.

These yellow blooms were in my front landscaping at our old house.  Absolutely no clue what they are.  Tiny blooms in very fine leaves.  I just liked them because they are my favorite color!  Yellooooowwww!

Yellow somethings?

Here’s something weird about me you probably didn’t know.  I love old cemeteries.  I like to read the stones and shut my eyes and imagine them as they lived, worked, and played.  When I was a kid, cemeteries creeped me out and I used to hold my breath whenever we drove past one.  Part of an old wives tail I think?  Like lifting your feet up when driving over railroad tracks.  Geez – I don’t even remember what that one was for – just remember doing it.

This cemetery in Salem, MA was especially cool because it had people in it from the Salem Witch Trials.  Interesting thing about these old tombstones is that they looked fake because they were so thin. I had to touch them to be sure they were real.  And plus, like the big kid I am, I just can’t not touch.

Salem cemetery, Salem, MA

Salem cemetery, Salem, MA

This next photo was taken while kayaking with the Daver on the chain of lakes in Waupaca.  There is a series of small, shallow lakes on the tail end of the chain perfect for kayaking.  I managed to not only stay in the boat, but didn’t drop my camera or phone in the drink.  I have mad kayaking skills.

Waupaca County, WI

We found this face of tree roots on our walk to a waterfall in the Smoky Mountains near Gatlinburg, TN.  It had just rained, so it was a slippery, muddy hike.  But totally worth it – so much natural eye candy!

Old Man

I just really liked how all my pots looked last year, waiting for me to fill them with new life.  This year, many stand empty yet, as we have been too busy trying to get a driveway, deck, etc.  Next year, they will all be filled again, though!

Time to plant!

Last spring, I road in the Menominee River Century – we did 50 miles.  On a short breather after a hill climb, I hopped off my bike and ran in the woods to grab this shot.  Did I ever mention how much I love riding?  Scenes like this play a big part in that love.

Pine trees in Menominee

I know I recently shared this one, but it’s so pretty, I had to include it.  Taken on the trail thru a local bird sanctuary – it’s basically wetlands.  I was covered in chemicals or I would have been eaten alive by the velociraptors…er…mosquitoes.

Trail thru a local bird sanctuary.

And finally – does anyone know what these purple beauties are?  I see them blooming all over the place but have no clue what they are.

Who Am I?   24601!!

Those are my contributions!  I hope you enjoyed them!

A big thank you to Cee for sponsoring this challenge!  Please check out her blog, and also the other entries posted in her comments.

See you all next week!

Sue

I Got A Rock

The Jesus Rock – Shores of Lake Michigan near Bjorklunden

Dave and I have an inside joke, that isn’t really all that “inside”. Based on the Peanuts Halloween episode, where everyone gets candy while trick or treating except poor Charlie Brown, who keeps getting rocks. I no longer remember the particulars, but something happened at home, and Dave’s response of “I got a rock” elicited giggles from our oldest chick. Her dad has been in love with her and her laugh since the day of her birth and so pretty much anything he says or does that makes her laugh is repeated until it becomes a family tradition.

Although this particular chick has fled the nest, the “I got a rock” tradition continues in our house. It pops up at odd moments – shopping, on our walks, vacationing, dinner, decorating for Christmas…

I Got A Rock

The thing is, we love getting rocks. I have a collection of them on my desk, we have various rocks brought home from vacations, and any trip to the beach has me bending over God’s glitter with curiosity and wonder.

Rocks are mysterious, beautiful, gentle, brooding, forceful.  They have a story to tell but they are slow to speak.  For me, being around rocks is like being around God – I have a sense of well being, warmth, and calmness.  In the rush of living, they remind me to slow down and take a breath.  Look around me.  Sit a spell.  It’s like I can hear God whispering to me in the warmth of the sun soaked stone.

It’s always interesting to see what people do with rocks.  Sometimes they polish them into jewelry.  Make tools out of them.  Carve out tunnels and drive thru them. Create masterpieces within them.  Bake with them.  Curb fire with them.  Build shelters from them.

“Look at that giant rock! Let’s drive a bus thru it! Heck, yes!”

Mostly, I just like to touch them, especially those worn smooth by wind and wave.  Last time I went to Bayshore, I decided to rock pick with my camera instead of my hands – these specimens were a little large to fit in my pocket. Here are my favorites.

Playing with my shadow.

In the shallows

Mr. Stripey

Rocks with big strips like this in them intrigue me. I always wonder what was happening on earth during the making of that layer.

I love this one. It looks like a brain.  No need to point out the weirdness of that statement.  I am fully aware.

I love this one too – the color is so rich.

If you look closely, this one has a daddy long legs on it. I usually hate spiders, but even I’m not freaked out by daddies.

This one makes me think of a whale. Or a dinosaur skull.

Love the color on this one too. And how the water swirls around it.

I love how the water bubbles over this one. And of course, I caught this shot totally on purpose….

This one reminds me of an ancient temple. Or maybe the dutch windmill cookies my Grandma Conard used to always give us.

This one I just liked because of all the tiny dot things on it. Sort of like worms but not in a gross way.

This one reminds me of a side view of some sort of alien or dinosaur or something.

This one you can see the “mouth”.

This rock with the wound of exposed granite really caught my eye. I took one picture dry, then wet it down with the rest of the water in my water bottle (which I regretted on the hot bike ride home).

Here it is wet

Extreme closeup!

Last but not least…

Besides awesome rock pictures, I got a bit of a sun burn that day too.  All in all, a wonderful afternoon.  I’ll be back next week with tales of Wisconsin Summer Survival!

Sue

Growing A Pair

A few weeks ago I posted about Super Powers – how we all have them. And we do. But every Super Power has it’s Kryptonite.

 

I am my own worst enemy. The cliche-ness of that statement does not make it any less true. Any dream or goal I have ever had has always had an obstacle. And that obstacle has always been me.

Me standing with a worried brow and wringing hands. With fear and self doubt babbling a litany of reasons for failure. Reasons to give up. Reasons to quit hoping.

You’re too old. You’re too fat. He won’t listen. She won’t learn. The damage can’t be undone. Others are better. Nothing matters so why try. You’ll starve. You’re spouse will leave. You’ll fall and break a hip.

Oh yeah, and then there’s the voices outside your head. From well meaning family, friends, church members, co-workers, acquaintances, the gas station cashier, the homeless guy on the corner…

Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? That’s stupid. Why? You should do it this way. You should say that instead. You’re gonna get screwed. Look out for number one.

And if those voices aren’t enough to drive me screaming off a cliff, there’s also the voice of realism. Past experience. Knowing my own limitations. Bills that have to be paid. A spouse to consider. Family. Friends. A job. Commitments to others.

All of which must be considered, and “yes” to learning from past mistakes, too. But perhaps considered instead from the point of how they can propel me forward, not how they may hold me back.

So I have to grow a pair. I have to grow a pair so I can stand up to society, to family, to friends. But mostly, to myself.

I gotta tell ya. I took a baby step this weekend and it hurt like hell. Still does. I suspect it will for a long time, because I’m not stopping. I need this pair of spiritual balls or I’m going to stay stuck.

I know I’m on the right track, even if my first step wasn’t perfect. It was still a step. A beginning. A line in the sand. A line thru my heart.

And I’m sure that in this process, small victories will retract. Pull themselves back up into my spirit to hide and I will take a step or two backwards. Maybe even stumble and fall. I may have mascara running down my face, ripped panty hose, and a broken heel…haha- ok that’s not me. I’ll be the messy haired little kid with dirt streaked cheeks, skinned knees and snot running out of my nose.

Point is, I’m going to get my ass back up. I’m not quitting. I’m not going away. And I’m not backing down. So get ready Self. I’m not taking any of your shit anymore. There’s a new kid in town.

Scotchy Scotch Scotch, We Love Scotch

I have had several people ask me why we moved from DePere. The short story: Empty nesters. But you know me. I’m not about the short story. I always gotta write a book. But in the interest of being interesting, I’ll give you the abridged version.

Dave and I got engaged in the middle of a field on Dollar Lane in DePere. We were young and green and dreaming big. But you know how reality reaches in and kinda changes how you look at things – money and circumstances and all that jazz. We couldn’t afford it and that was okay. We found an adorable little house in West DePere, and made our first nest there. Kids started coming, we moved to the next size up on the other side of town, and then Lindsay got sick and then we moved again and then they needed braces, prom dresses, bmx bikes, and cars. You know the song and dance. It was always something. But the dance was lovely, and I wouldn’t change any of it, except maybe the leukemia part for Lindsay.

Now we are in our empty nest stage (almost) and have been able to financially breathe easier for a few years now. We have about 15 years (if all goes well) to retirement, and we are both in good health. After talking a bit, we decided that if we were ever going to have that little piece of country, we needed to do it now. So we started looking.

I will admit that I wasn’t on board right away. My open house attendance was half-hearted and I hated everything we saw. We had lived in our current home for 15 years, and in that particular neighborhood for over 20. And I liked our home and neighborhood. I liked it a lot.

These dogs were made for walkin…

 

I liked walking the dogs every night and knowing all the houses and people behind the doors. I liked when Bricky drove past and honked. I liked when Pen and Ben were outside and we hollered across the street to each other or when Jim was in his driveway putting up Christmas decorations and we would stop and chat. I liked walking past “the boys” on Erie Street in the summer, when they would be sitting out side in the evening watching the neighborhood. I always felt a little safer because I knew they saw everything. (Geez, I better quit this – I’m starting to depress myself).

Then one Sunday, we went to an open house out here on Scotchman. While it wasn’t the home we purchased, it was the one that began to turn my heart. I remember standing in the living room there, watching a red-tailed hawk wheel around the farmer’s cornfield, and my heart skipped a beat. I knew I would move to be there. I can’t tell you exactly why – it’s not like we didn’t see red tails in DePere. Or eagles or sand hill cranes or deer or great blue herons, because we did. It was more the area and knowing it would all be right in our backyard. Or close to it.

After a lot of talking to the realtor, we decided to try to purchase a spec home they were going to build out there, a few lots down. It would have a three stall garage and a walk out basement, and would have part of the pond in the back yard. We listed our house and crossed our fingers. A lot was riding on whether we could sell our home on time, and Lord knows I didn’t want to move twice.

Now, I have to be honest here and tell you my heart swayed back and forth for a while. I had mood swings from “I can’t wait to move!” to “WAAAAAAH! I don’t want to moooooove! I want to live here forreeeeevvvveeeerrrrrr!” Dave asked me at least three times if I really wanted to keep pursuing it. I kept telling him yes, but I really wasn’t sure. In fact, right before my birthday, I almost decided to take him up on his offer to back out.

I DON’T WANNA MOOOOOVE!

We had rented a condo up in Door County for my 50th, right on Lake Michigan. I was stoked because I was finally feeling better, after having been sick for over a month with some mystery virus, and I couldn’t wait for a weekend to snow shoe and tramp along the frozen lake shore. I told my realtor not to schedule any showings that weekend. Showings and open houses were a huge pain in the butt for us because we had to do something with the dogs and cat.  This meant a really long hour in the car with fish-breath hyper dogs and a yowling cat, who also occasionally puked for good measure.

We got a call two days before my birthday that there was a couple that wanted to see our house on my birthday, which meant either losing a night at the condo or one of us (meaning Dave – duh – it was my birthday, dammit) staying home and coming later. I couldn’t believe it. I ranted and raved inside my head and called Dave to see what we should do. I really just wanted to throw in the towel and tell the realtor no. To heck with it. This was crossing the line. A gauntlet thrown at my feet. Nay, I shouted! I won’t give in to the heathen realtors who would steal my birthday!

Of course we scheduled it. Dave stayed home and I went up alone (don’t feel too sorry for me, he came up later).

On the way up to door county, I drove past the turn for the new house, and had an epiphany, kind of how the Grinches small heart grew three sizes on Christmas day. I could feel the area calling to me. I felt at home. I realized I had from the beginning, and that I really wanted to move, but had been to afraid to ask God for it. It seemed a silly thing to ask, when people were starving and dying and suffering, but I had to let Him know my heart. So I prayed. I asked God for His blessing, that we would like to move there if it was okay with Him, and that if the answer was no, we would understand.

The folks who came thru that day, the ones I was so annoyed with my realtor about, came thru again on Sunday. By Monday we had an offer. Huh. What do you know.

And the rest, as they say, is history. A lot still had to happen (read my blog about all the cake eating involved), but it all fell into place, one piece at a time. We sold our house with time to spare. The buyers didn’t want to close until mid-March, so plenty of time for the new house to be finished and we would only have to move once. Given my freak out level thru the whole process, it seemed like a miracle.

Now, before anyone starts singing “Oh Lord, won’t you buy me, a Mercedes Benz,” I just want to say it wasn’t like that at all. We didn’t ask for the house to be given to us or to win the lottery or anything like that. All we asked for was guidance and an open door. And you can look at it as coincidence if you want. We choose to believe that God cared enough to give us an answer.

I believe God works that way – that if you talk to Him and have Him in your life, you’re going to hear back from Him.  Sometimes I enjoy the conversation, sometimes I don’t.  And I don’t always understand what he is doing or why (like, hardly ever).  But I wouldn’t want my life to be without Him.

The other day I was driving to work, basically telling God I surely didn’t understand why Jen died, and what part of His plan required this type of loss. It seemed arbitrary and cruel. When I got home, I had a letter waiting for me from a friend, with words of encouragement that assured me that even though I didn’t ‘get’ what God was doing, He was at least listening.

Enjoy the spring weather!  I will be back next week to tell you all about my Zelda, Ocarina of Time, appliances.  

Sue

PS -My ancestors are from this area. Champion, to be exact. There is even a Conard road (see pic – I was on it last summer and I am sure I will be again, often) and somewhere a cemetery with some of my ancestors in it.

15 Minutes of Fame

PPS – When we were growing up, my grandparents had a cottage on the bay. It’s about 4 miles from me now.

PPSS – When my kids were growing up, my parents had a cottage up in Crivitz. This home reminds us both of going there with our kids. I think it’s the open concept, the dark counter tops, and the feel of being up north. Every night we come home from work, we feel like we are going to the cottage.

PPPSSS – Dave’s dad grew up in this area. Attended Holy Cross school and church on Bay Settlement Road and lived not too far from here as a kid. Dad D’s cousin Louie’s dad used to own the land we are currently living on. He still owns a pretty big chunk, and lives only a mile or so away. Less than that as the crow flies. That said, Dad D often stayed at his uncle’s farm, and literally ran and played in these very fields we are now living in. Sometimes I sit, and imagine the DeGroot boys running thru yelling and waving sticks, all brown and dirty and smelling like sun. It makes me smile.

PSPPPSPSPSPSPPS – There is a cemetery up the road with DeGroot ancestors in it, too. And stop thinking the cemetery thing is creepy. I actually like them for some weird reason. I always try to imagine the history of the people buried there – like telling myself a story. Now, I can imagine it, knowing they are people who are a part of who I am.

PPPSSSSPPPPSSSPSPPPSSSSSSSSSP – Maybe it is a tiny bit creepy.

 

#100HappyDays Plus Lent

Lent.  When I was a kid, I always gave something up for lent.  Usually it was candy or soda.  As an adult, I have only very rarely participated in that aspect of Lent – mostly because the motives for giving something up became linked to losing weight or some other selfish end.  That’s really missing the point of what Lent is all about, which is a time of reflection and growth in your relationship with Christ, as well as a preparation for the most holy of weeks and the grand finale – the Resurrection.

However, this year I ran across this article, posted by a friend on Facebook: 20 Things To Give Up For Lent.  This inspired me to try something different this year, and I am heeding the advice given in the article by giving up Guilt and Worry.

Living my life consumed by guilt is like telling God He isn’t big enough to heal my past or that I am beyond forgiveness.  If I say with my mouth that I don’t believe those things, then I should practice believing it in my heart.  And if I believe it in my heart, then it’s time to move away from that damaging self talk Guilt whispers every day, and move forward instead into change and forgiveness.

Worry is the Ugly Step-Sister to Guilt.  I worry about things I have absolutely no control over with the misguided internal belief that if I worry about them enough, I can somehow control them.  And even though worry has never changed a single outcome in all of my 50 years of existence, I continue to practice it.  You all know the definition of insanity, right?  So it’s time to start practicing Trust, in place of Worry, and learn to allow Peace to follow Trust.

A tall order for only 40 days.  And I am pretty sure I will fail.  But every day is a new day and a new chance to start again.  No success has ever come without failure along the way.  I will give you an update after Easter.

Now, on to #100HappyDays!  These are in no particular order, by the way.  Nor do I have a picture for everyday since my last 100 Happy Days post – things have been a little hectic with all the moving stuff.  I am sure you will enjoy what I have though.  🙂

Birthday Stragglers:  My brother and my oldest sister decided I needed a little more Nifty Fifty-ness in my life.  Below are their contributions.

Words of Wisdom from my OLDER brother

Old Age Tool Kit From my OLDEST sister, complete with sticky note instructions. Because us old people are so forgetful you know.

KUUUUUUHN!

We got to meet John Kuhn at our sales meeting. Besides me and Kuhn, that’s our sales rep Judy on the left and my co-worker Kirby in the middle. Notice I’m wearing Packer gold. Totally not planned. I’m just sort of awesome that way.

Besides going thru all the photos, I also went thru a pile of the kids old toys we still had.  I ran across this truck and had to take a picture.  Matt used to do this to a lot of his trucks – he would draw up decals and tape them to the body.  Seeing this made me smile and remember the sweet boy who spent so much time laying on the floor with his cars and trucks.  “Matthew the Vehicle King”.

Another Nifty Fifty Event!  A beautiful necklace from my friends Karen and Betsy, from their store, Pretty Poppy.  If you happen to be in Newburyport, Massachusetts, stop in!  It’s a girl’s dream.  Seriously – I could never bring my daughter in there.  I would go broke.

Latte Friday!!  Every Friday, I go thru Jitter Bean for a latte.  Yummy delicious – and Julie always gives out an animal cookie with each cup!  If you have never been there, you need to check them out.  Buy Local!!!

 

This adorable girl.

Daisy Duke aka Dobby

This goofball cat.

Rub ma bellay! Rub it!

Lucky with his snowbeard.

Let me in, lady! It’s freezing out here.

Going to see Wicked with my daughter, my sister and my niece.  I will say this was the one time I liked the play or movie better than the book.  Excellent performances by everyone and we had fantastic seats.  

Lindsay’s “Wicked” inspired drink at the restaurant.  It looked like lime jello.

 

Cousin Mike’s retirement after 24 years in the Navy.  Thank you, Mike, for standing the watch!  We are grateful and blessed to have men like you serving in our country.

This – just because.

Finally getting to meet my adorable grand-niece who is almost a year already.  Where does the time go?  A popular old fart lament, I know.  I’m not putting in our picture because this is a public blog, but suffice to say she is super cute and takes after her auntie in Greatness.  Happy Birthday, B!!

This ginormous snow pile on the corner of our street.  My neighbors had to have made this on purpose.  Too bad they don’t have any kids – it would make an awesome fort!

Holy snow pile, Batman.

This “Goodbye Winter, You Suck” cookie we got from work today.  Okay, that’s not what they called it.  Something more politically correct like “Beat the winter blues” or some happy horseshit.  But we all know the truth.  Winter, we are done with you! Done, I say!

My new bedroom set.

 

Ha!  Just kidding.  I really did get one, but it’s in the garage at my in-laws.  In our 28.5 years of marriage, we have never had a matching bedroom set, so I am pretty stoked about this.  Once we are moved in, I will post pictures.

And finally, random pictures of our new house while under construction.  We just went out there last night, and it’s almost all done.  Wheeee!  One more week!

This will likely by my last post for a few weeks due to the move.  We got rid of my old desk and I’m sitting on a low stool with my keyboard on my lap, gazing up at my computer which is on an end table.  I thought the stool would work but it turns out I’m still a little low.  Anyway, long story short – it’s not super comfortable, thus the suspension of blog posts until I am set up in our new house.  I expect it will be the 27th before you see me again.  Hopefully we will be firmly above the freezing mark by then!

Stay warm, my friends!
Sue