It’s that time of year again! The time where we look back on the past and forward into the future. It’s like being at the highest point on a roller coaster – that pin-dropping moment of silence after a ponderous, rickety climb, where your heart gained momentum faster than the roller coaster car. And then as the car pauses – you hold your breath and you see your future ahead of you, and you begin praying that your harness holds you firmly in your seat and that you won’t derail on the hairpin curves.
Did I ever tell you I hate roller coasters? I don’t trust the harness, I don’t trust the course, and I don’t trust the person who built it that insists it’s safe. This is exactly how I feel about life. God loves me but I must really test His patience. I see the course He has set before me, but I am already arguing with Him that the harness He provided is going to give out, hurling me into space. He knows I’m going to have a death grip on Him, eyes squeezed shut and screaming all the way down that first hill.
These last few weeks have had some unexpected twists and belly droppers and I can’t say I was overly appreciative of the final moments of the 2013 ride. And now we are back at the top of the coaster and as I look down to the coming journey that will be 2014, I see a lot of question marks and unknowns, and it’s making me a little crazy. I wish I could see the course ahead of time, to plan for each turn and belly drop. To be prepared and know exactly how I will handle each situation. I want the security of the KNOWN, of the quiet, mundane day-to-day living, that stretches no faith nor spirit. God doesn’t see it that way. He knows without stretching my faith, I won’t grow.
So God and I are having a talk. He’s going to keep me secure in my harness, wrapped in his love and strength, and I’m going to try to keep my eyes open and enjoy the ride without barfing up my Slushie or screaming for the ride to stop. I actually did that once – scream for the ride to stop, not barf up my Slushie – on the Matterhorn at Disneyland. In my defense, I was only 9, and I was riding with my mom who was also screaming. Gotta love those mother/daughter bonding moments.
I know I will be a stronger, smarter, wiser version of myself when it all shakes out. The process is the tough part for me. But like I said in my Christmas blog – life is precious and it’s important to live in the moment – even the crappy moments. In a nutshell, that is my main goal for this year. To embrace every second of joy, anxiety, fear, happiness, sorrow, humor, and love.
Therefore, besides learning to live in the moment, one day at a time, on the things of 2014 that I won’t be able to control, here is a list of the more mundane things I have a little more control over and hope to accomplish.
- Mental Survival for this Sunday’s Packers’s/Niners game. I know I am being overly dramatic, but all my fellow Cheeseheads will agree that watching the Green Bay Packers play lately is enough to make you go running to your doctor for a prescription of Xanax. At least the game will be at L-L-L-Lambeau, and it will be c-c-c-cold!
- Increase my blog posts to twice a week. I am planning on keeping Thursday, and then probably adding Monday – hopefully something humorous because Lord knows we need a reason to laugh on Mondays.
- Pull my pal Joey Christensen on the Titletown Tour in another mTT (My Team Triumph) event – this time cycling. As you may remember, I was one of his angels in the Bellin last year,and I would like to continue that relationship by doing the Titletown Tour cycling event with him in 2014.
- As part of my involvement with mTT and hanging out with the Joe-meister – attend, learn and pass with flying colors the American Sign Language class that I signed up for thru St. Norbert College. Gotta be able to communicate with Joe while I am pedaling him around this summer. Hopefully I don’t crash when I am turning around to sign to him.
- Clock 2000 miles on my bike. No clue how I am going to find time to ride more than I already do with everything else on my plate but I’m darn well going to try.
- Running the Fox Cities Half Marathon with my bestie, Dawn. Although this is really her goal, I am along for the ride to provide motivation and encouragement. Of course, I haven’t ran long distance in over two years, so she may be the one cracking the whip on me instead!
And that’s about it for now. As a good friend of mine just emailed to me: It takes less time and energy to pray than to worry. I am hoping to pray more than worry in 2014, for all of our benefit!
May you all have a blessed new year! And stay warm!