Sue the Explorer With Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Wood and Spring

I’m taking a break from my usual fare this week, because I recently started following a blog called Cee’s Photography, and she runs photo challenges every week.  She has beautiful photos and they make me smile, so I thought I would share with you because you can never have too many smiles in a day.

I decided to participate in her Elements/Seasons series – as you all know I am a nature freak.  So, without further ado, here is my entry for Wood/Spring.

First up – photos from one of my most favorite places in all the land!  Bjorklunden (Lawrence University) in Door County.  Love, love, love that place, and for a while went every year with my sister for a ladies weekend.  I missed the last two years, a knife in my spiritual heart – I have been able to reach out to God so easily in this place.

Spring dew on lakeside branches.

God calling in the mist.

This next picture was taken down by the Fox River, close to the locks.  I was actually trying to get shots of the pelicans, and happened across this bright bit of life starting it’s journey.

Life finds a way.

These yellow blooms were in my front landscaping at our old house.  Absolutely no clue what they are.  Tiny blooms in very fine leaves.  I just liked them because they are my favorite color!  Yellooooowwww!

Yellow somethings?

Here’s something weird about me you probably didn’t know.  I love old cemeteries.  I like to read the stones and shut my eyes and imagine them as they lived, worked, and played.  When I was a kid, cemeteries creeped me out and I used to hold my breath whenever we drove past one.  Part of an old wives tail I think?  Like lifting your feet up when driving over railroad tracks.  Geez – I don’t even remember what that one was for – just remember doing it.

This cemetery in Salem, MA was especially cool because it had people in it from the Salem Witch Trials.  Interesting thing about these old tombstones is that they looked fake because they were so thin. I had to touch them to be sure they were real.  And plus, like the big kid I am, I just can’t not touch.

Salem cemetery, Salem, MA

Salem cemetery, Salem, MA

This next photo was taken while kayaking with the Daver on the chain of lakes in Waupaca.  There is a series of small, shallow lakes on the tail end of the chain perfect for kayaking.  I managed to not only stay in the boat, but didn’t drop my camera or phone in the drink.  I have mad kayaking skills.

Waupaca County, WI

We found this face of tree roots on our walk to a waterfall in the Smoky Mountains near Gatlinburg, TN.  It had just rained, so it was a slippery, muddy hike.  But totally worth it – so much natural eye candy!

Old Man

I just really liked how all my pots looked last year, waiting for me to fill them with new life.  This year, many stand empty yet, as we have been too busy trying to get a driveway, deck, etc.  Next year, they will all be filled again, though!

Time to plant!

Last spring, I road in the Menominee River Century – we did 50 miles.  On a short breather after a hill climb, I hopped off my bike and ran in the woods to grab this shot.  Did I ever mention how much I love riding?  Scenes like this play a big part in that love.

Pine trees in Menominee

I know I recently shared this one, but it’s so pretty, I had to include it.  Taken on the trail thru a local bird sanctuary – it’s basically wetlands.  I was covered in chemicals or I would have been eaten alive by the velociraptors…er…mosquitoes.

Trail thru a local bird sanctuary.

And finally – does anyone know what these purple beauties are?  I see them blooming all over the place but have no clue what they are.

Who Am I?   24601!!

Those are my contributions!  I hope you enjoyed them!

A big thank you to Cee for sponsoring this challenge!  Please check out her blog, and also the other entries posted in her comments.

See you all next week!

Sue

Learning To Move The Bean Bowl

I bought green and wax beans the other day at the farmers market.  They call them wax beans because they are yellow and look waxy I guess.  The term ‘wax’ in reference to food grosses me out, so I prefer green and yellow.  Or better yet, green and gold (Go Pack Go! Yes, I just went there, and yes, I used my entire first paragraph to set up the Packers reference.  This is what happens when you live in the land of cheese).

I love getting fresh produce from the farmers market but it does require extra work to clean it and make it ready for consumption.  It’s not like buying a bag of Steamers and popping it in the microwave (although I do love Steamers – what an awesome invention).   Fresh food needs to be cleaned and cut and trimmed and peeled.  Kind of a pain, all this eating healthy business.  Some veggies are more of a pain than others but beans are fairly easy in the veggie cleaning line up – just wash and snap off the tops.

My process is to wash them in a colander, spread them on a clean towel, grab a few, snap off the tops and then toss the cleaned bean in a bowl and the top in a pile to the side for the garbage.  Easy peezy, lemon squeezy, right?  Well, I was cleaning my beans after I got home, and I kept accidentally throwing the beans in the garbage pile and the tops in the bean bowl.  What the heck?  After about the 10th time, I realized I had my work area set up wrong.

Green and Gold beans!

My natural tendency was to grab the beans with my left hand and snap off the tops with my right, so the bean bowl should have been to my left and the garbage pile to the right, and I had it reversed.  This would have taken about 5 seconds to rectify and ended the awkward cross reaching, plus the time-consuming need to stop what I was doing and fish the tops out of the bean bowl.  Not to mention that I was using extra energy just concentrating on my process that could have been used to create a plan for world peace and a new energy resource (HAHA.  Okay, I would have created my grocery list and a plan to clean the bathrooms but still, a better use of my time).  Instead, I stubbornly continued to clean my beans counter intuitively, swearing under my breath every time the tops ended up in the bean bowl.

After going thru 3/4 of my beans, I finally set my ego aside and fixed my workstation.  I finished the rest of my beans lickety split (I like to say that word.  Lickety split.  Or is it lickety spit? Hmmmm….).  I wasted a lot of time and effort fighting my body, but was too prideful to admit my set up was wrong and I was too lazy to expend the energy to change it, even though I used way more energy trying to fight it.  Apparently this thing on my neck really is just a helmet holder.

Helmet holder, but at least I get strawberry shortcake!

Life is like that, isn’t it?  The thought of making a change, even one that will make my life easier, seems like too much trouble and effort, so I keep on trying to control the wrong things.  I read once that a person won’t make a change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.  Pain yes, but pride too.  My ego tells me my process is right and if I could just control myself, all would be well.  This is especially true in my eating habits and in my relationship with God.

I will never be able to eat normal portions if I don’t have a handle on why I am eating in the first place, and I will never be able to grow in my relationship with God if I continue to try to commune with Him according to rules and obligation.  It’s hard to change what I have always done, and the process of making that change seems overwhelming.  But like moving my bean bowl, the initial energy needed to make a change is greater, but is less overall because of the energy saved on the other side of the change.  The sooner the change, the more energy saved.  With all those energy savings, I could qualify for an Energy Star.

Thus starts my quest to move the bean bowls in my life that are causing me to stumble and seeking God for change and direction.  I don’t think it will be easy, but I believe with His help, all things are possible.  One of the biggest changes I see coming is my commitment to writing.  In fact, the very idea is giving me anxiety at this very moment.  But, you know how sometimes you crave something, like maybe a bowl of ice cream or a donut, and you decide not to have it because it’s fattening or whatever, so you eat everything else in your cupboard instead, and then end up eating the ice cream or donut anyway?  That’s what this is like.  I feel like I have spent years eating around my desire to write, thinking I would never be able to make a living at it or be good enough.  Instead I have tried to find satisfaction or direction in other areas, and while I have been successful, I am still wandering around my house opening up cupboards.

I’m scared.  I’m scared of failing, of not being good enough, of dying poor and penniless living out of a cardboard box with nothing but my thermos à la Steve Martin in The Jerk.  But I think I am more scared of not trying it.  Of never knowing.

I’m picking out a thermos, for you!

How about you?  What are the “bean bowls” in your life that need moving?  I love hearing from you!

Sue

Jesus Is In The Boat

My husband can fix just about anything.  Cars, washing machines, dryers, the siding, bikes, the plumbing, the roof.  He built our deck, put up our fence, installed a few water heaters and painted just about every room in our house.  Sometimes he fixes things with specific purchased parts, and other times he “MacGyver’s” it out of things he has lying around the house.  In our 27 years of marriage, we have never had a repair man in our home.

I wanted to fix things too, except I wanted to fix things I was not supposed to fix.  If a friend or family member came to me with a problem, my brain immediately began problem solving and plotting a course of action for them.  Instead of listening, I would be patiently waiting for a break in the conversation to give them my sage advice, except that they weren’t coming to me for the Wisdom of Solomon.  They just wanted me to listen.  And to pray for them.

So I learned to be a good listener and prayer warrior.  Except when it came to problems with my kids.  That has been another story.

Of course I pray for them.  Daily.  With fervor.  And sweat.  And some arguing about God’s timing.  And maybe some late night pacing.  But I can’t seem to let go of the anxiety.  Even now, with my kids being young adults – all it takes is one phone call or late night text to put me over the edge into “fix it” mode, my brain scrabbling to put together a solution for them, every instinct screaming at me to step in and take over.

I have struggled with this ever since my kids problems graduated from skinned knees and broken toys to middle school angst and broken hearts.   I would often find myself as torn up and anxiety ridden as they were, or so angry that I wanted to go Mama Bear on someone – often times them.  I tried harder and harder to control them or the situation, thinking good parents had good children, and why were my children running amok?

A few years ago, I was sitting in a Companions In Christ class at church, explaining how trying to control my kids made me feel anxiety ridden and hopeless, but that I couldn’t seem to stop because at least by trying to control them, I felt like I was being a good mom.  We were reading the story of Jesus and the disciples in the boat, and how the storm hit and the disciples were freaking out while Jesus slept thru it all.  The Holy Spirit flipped a switch, and I had an incredible Ah-Ha moment.  I was a freaking out disciple, and Jesus was right there in the boat with me.

I shouted, “That’s it!  Jesus is in the boat!!  He’s in the boat!”  And then I had to explain, that no matter the storm, if Jesus is in the boat, you’re going to be okay.  I was going to be okay.  My kids were going to be okay.  Everything, no matter what it looked like outside, was going to be okay, because the Master of All was in the boat.  It reminded me of the time my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia when she was four.  Feeling helpless and alone, I gave her to God, regardless of the outcome.  Regardless of whether she lived or died, she belonged to God and not to me.  As the years progressed, I had lost site of that.  Finding Jesus in the boat with me, realizing I did not have to calm the storm nor try keep everyone from falling out of the boat, was such a relief.

I still struggle with wanting to take over for God and solve all of my kids problems.  And although I have gotten better at surrendering them back to Him, it still scares me to let go.  I have to constantly remind myself that He is in the boat, that I can let Him calm the storm.  And even in my weakness and in my fear, and in my lack of faith and trust, He still does.  For that, I am ever grateful.

Originally posted on The Neighborhood Church Lenten Pasha Blog.

Forgiveness for a Foodie

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. – Matthew 4:4

I want to talk about some of my favorite scriptures – you know the types I mean – the ones you cling to when the you-know-what hits the fan and your life feels like it’s spiraling out of control.  But I’m not going to today, actually.  Today, I am going to talk to you about scriptures that make your stomach clench when you read them.  The ones where you think “Is He talking to me?” with a feeling of dread because you know you have been doing your own thing and the hammer is about to fall.

And of course, God could pound me to a pulp, but He doesn’t.  Thankfully.  Or perhaps un-thankfully?  Because sometimes I feel like maybe I would rather be pounded than have to be a grown up and make my own decisions.  He allows us free will after all – freedom to turn to Him or freedom to keep wallowing in the muck of our own poor decisions.

Today’s scripture is one I read last night in the book of Matthew.  It was part of my 3×5 reading, a program I am participating in thru our church in order to read the entire bible in a year.  It’s Jesus’ response to the devil who was tempting Him to conjure up some food during his fast in the wilderness.  I can’t even make it thru a Dairy Queen commercial on a full stomach so I can’t imagine being in Jesus’ sandals.  Jesus responds with “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God”.   Ugh!  Gut jab!  I quickly kept reading, but that nagging niggle of scripture kept me from being able to concentrate on the rest.

Now you see it….

I love food, you see.  Ice cream, cake, chips, fries, hamburgers, steak, tacos, peanuts, popcorn, grapes, chocolate, hot fudge, mashed potatoes and gravy, breakfast food, dinner food, snack food, wedding food.  I. Love. Food.  And sometimes, Lord knows (truly), I love food more than spending time with God.  More than spending time with my family.  I would rather curl up with my jar of peanuts and a good book and turn off the rest of the world.  I would choose this hands down over ANYTHING else, almost all of the time, if I thought I could get away with it.  God knows.  Oh, He knows.

It’s a form of idolatry, and it’s a type of addiction, and this I know.  And yet, I find myself slipping into it time and time again.  Remember Paul, talking about the thorn in his side?  The one thing he had to fight all the time?  This is my thorn.  I have fought it my entire life.  Okay, possible exaggeration, but a good part of my life.  At least from the time I was pre-teen.

Now you don’t.

So every now and then, God gives me a “gut” check…pun intended.  When food begins to infiltrate my lifestyle and undermine my goals (not to mention HIS goals), it’s time to take a look and make some tough decisions…again.  He reminds me that if I spent as much time and energy focusing on Him that I spend focusing on food, our relationship would be bordering on the fantastic.  Which is, of course, a mutual goal between God and I – to have a closer relationship.  Kinda hard to do with an ice cream sundae the size of the Empire State Building between us.

Not by the pure force of my own will can this thorn be removed either.  I can’t do it alone, nor on my own, nor under my own strength.  I need God.  As Paul says, “…for when I am weak, then I am strong.”, in reference to God being glorified thru Paul’s weakness.  I only hope I can glorify God in mine as well.  I’ll keep you posted on the progress.

Do you have a ‘thorn’ in your life, that pulls your focus off of God or your goals?  How do you handle it?

Best,

Sue