That Escalated Quickly


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Cartoon from the great Dan Piraro, as shared on FaceBook.  http://bizarro.com

Anyone else notice how we went from dead of winter to Holy-Crap-I-Just-Saw-A-Robin in less than a week? I think I even saw a rare white headed snow bird, although they usually don’t drive fly home north until April.

I was out walking the dogs a few days ago (because I’m ALWAYS walking the dogs. When I die, my tombstone will say “She really walked those dogs a lot.”) and saw my first sandhill cranes of the season fly overhead. Although I am one of those weird winter lovers, I have to admit I grinned from ear to ear when I heard them. You don’t realize how long winter is until you hear your first sandhill crane, I guess.

Saturday, the sun shone and it was 62 degrees. In Wisconsin, that’s shorts and flip flops weather. And bike riding weather. And therefore, also leg shaving weather.

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I hauled my bike up from storage, threw some air in the tires, and dug out my fancy pants bike shorts. And then I took a gander at 6 months of forest growth and had to make a decision. Was it worse to scare the neighbors with sasquatch legs or to blind them with freshly-shaven, sun-deprived, neon white legs?

You’ve heard the term “Tan fat is better than pale fat” right? Well, pale fat is better than sasquatch legs. I hunted down the pruning shears and got to work. I wanted my winter white legs to look their best in my brand spankin’ new bike shorts.

I bought my new bike shorts off the internet. With justified trepidation I might add. Cycling clothes are sketchy enough to buy even when you can try them on, seeing as they seem to be made for toddlers and anorexically thin, middle-aged men. These shorts had rave reviews on Amazon, and everyone said they fit great and the sizing chart seemed legit, so I threw the dice.

I LOVE THEM. They have mesh pockets on the side for easy storage of maps, gloves, gel packs, phones – whatever us crazy bikers can think of to stick in there. I don’t usually wear the typical bike jerseys that have the pockets in the back (see above – toddlers and skinny middle-aged men do not have BUS’s (Breasts of Unusual Size)) so this is a great idea for me. I am totally geeked out about them. Plus the price was right and they actually fit without me feeling like a stuffed sausage.

And guess what? I also bought an over the shoulder doggie holder. That’s not what it’s really called, but it should be called that because I just made that up and that’s an excellent play on words.

Okay, I didn’t really make it up – I sort of stole it from the old “over the shoulder boulder holder” joke (that’s a bra for those of you who were sheltered as a child) but you have to admit, it gives a clear and concise picture in your head and is much easier to understand than the SEO title it has on Amazon. The “i’Pet® Hands-free Reversible Small Dog Cat Sling Carrier Bag Travel Tote Soft Comfortable Puppy Kitty Rabbit Double-sided Pouch Shoulder Carry Tote Handbag”.

What?

Exactly. So I tried that out today, too. One thing about spring in Wisconsin – it gets deceptively warm for about two weeks and all the birds come back and start partying, and then it snows, rains, and freezes for a month (and the birds fall for it EVERY TIME. You would think they would learn) so you have to spend as much time in the sun as you can before it disappears again.

See below – don’t I look like Paris Hilton? I could be her twin, right?

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For the record, I’m not really the froo-froo girlie girl walking around with her poochy-woochy-kins type. But Lucky dog has a bad feet so long walks leave him limping with bloody toes. And when I leave him home, he howls – which is equally detrimental to his health because everyone wants to kill him then. This carrier worked perfectly, and will make for an awesome summer of dog walking.

Okay – I’ve rambled on for far too long, so those of you still reading – go have some cake.   You totally deserve it.

Sue

PS.  If you want to check out the shorts, you can do so here: Aero Tech Designs  I’m pleased enough that I will probably buy a second pair.  If you are interested in the doggie carrier, you can check that out here:  Over The Shoulder Doggie Holder

PPS.  On my bike ride on Saturday, I stopped to check out Wequiock Falls.  There was a guy there playing one of those wooden flutes you see advertised on cable or at art shows.  He played under the bridge, so when you stood on the observation deck, you could only hear him, not see him.  It was surreal but cool.  Just had to share.

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12 thoughts on “That Escalated Quickly

    1. Sue Post author

      I know! Me too! I did get rid of some dead leaves off my day lilies and irises – it was exciting to see some new growth coming up.

      Reply
  1. Sue Slaght

    You make me laugh out loud Sue. Sasquatch legs! No robins here et but we have returned home to mild weather. Thanks for the tip on the shorts. Those sound awesome!

    Reply
    1. Sue Post author

      You should be seeing them soon, I think. The ducks are also starting to come thru- we have hooded mergansers on the pond right now- passing thru on their way farther north. Glad you made it home safe and sound! Sounds like your trip was fabulous.

      Reply
  2. treerabold

    An advantage to living in the south….wearing shorts off and on through the winter keeps those legs shaved a little more frequently!
    I got my Tri-kit through Aero Tech….they actually make clothes for us girls that aren’t size 2. i’m going to check out their biking shorts. I do wear biking jersey’s but try to make sure the are large enough to avoid looking like the stuffed sausage you mentioned!!
    Great post!

    Reply
    1. Sue Post author

      I bought another pair of the touring shorts, and two jerseys. One is a unisex which I got in a 2x and it fits pretty good but is a little see thru in the neon yellow. It’s nice and long which I really like, so I will wear a tank under it and use it in spring and fall for cooler rides. The other was the women’s Gail jersey in a 2x which is too big and shorter than I like. Plus it doesn’t have any elastic in the bottom. So I am returning that one for their women’s peloton hide a bike jersey. I’ll let you know how that one fits. So far I have been fairly happy with my purchases and it’s nice to find stuff made in the USA and made for bigger gals who still like to be active. 🙂

      Reply
      1. treerabold

        Thanks for sharing this info. I usually by men’s 2x jerseys so they feel comfortable and not “snug”
        I may try some of these women’s jerseys.
        I want to buy a few pairs of bike shorts….I don’t wear the touring though….I go all out, check out these legs, bike shorts!!
        I really need some LONG distance padding as I prepare for the Century ride.
        By the way….ordered my new Road ID last night. My friends and I were just talking about that yesterday…then I saw your post…I had to do it!

      2. Sue Post author

        Oh the touring shorts are spandex bike shorts but they have big mesh pockets on the legs that you can put stuff in like maps, phone, granola bar, etc. They do have a lot of padding but I haven’t tested them on a long distance yet.

        Yay on the Road ID!

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